confession: this is what i'm listening to on my 'pod.
Beach Walk 595 - Cranky Geeklt;/a>
i know. i know. i'm nearly whimpering as i type this. what have i become? i'm my own worst nightmare.
its like the green eggs and ham story and i'm that guy who has steadfastly refused the suspicious culinary delights of the green ovums and slice of the porcine. and then beat down, exhausted, and weary, i capitulate and try it.
and i relax.
and i feel better for the first time since...hmmm...shortly before harvest, this past september.
lets be clear here. i don't buy her. not the seemingly perpetual cheeriness or the wide open arms of acceptance...at any other time in my life i would just dismiss her.
now i need her.
its the lilting hawaiian music intro music. its the sound of her talking very positively, very assuredly. happy chatter. light. foamy bits of nothing. and then the sound of the rushing waves hitting the sand, pushing it forward and pulling it back into place like once giant therapeutic massage of noise. i don't watch her, i really find her distracting. but i do listen to her. if i have trouble falling asleep, i walk the beach with rox over and over until i get the sleeping part right.
did i type that?
i've made no bones about the fact i have great people involved in my life. there are a few people i know that are going through some shaky ground right now. i watch them real careful-like—the same way i watch my kids. a wait-ful watch. ready to fly at any threat, ready to fly to their rescue, but here, i am hopeless. they aren't my kids, these are grownups. most likely, i wouldnt be of much rescue or saving value, even if they wanted or needed the effort. things are a bit crazy on my end as well.
so i will settle for telling you, all my friends going through some scary stuff: i love you. and i worry for you. and when i give you a small loaf of my homemade bread, i'm telling you that i'm glad you've made it, glad you landed on safe ground—although it may not be the same ground that you were aiming to land upon. i was really scared. i'm glad you are here.
happy you made it.
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5 comments:
Mahalo for visiting Beach Walks and then writing about it!
We've started adding the audio-only version; you may prefer that. ;-)
Wondering in fact if you would like an iTunes feed just for audio? It's been on our to do list for quite a while; your post might just spur it into action.
Aloha, Rox
this is why you should never blog sensitive. you end up saying snotty things about perfectly nice people.
ok, i buy into rox. she is nice.
and no, i'll keep rox in my itunes video version. every once in a while, i do sneak a peek. i miss HI.
although i feel bad for talking smack about rox, i must, cranky girl as i am, point out that she lives in HI. and i do not. which, although may explain my crankiness, does not excuse my snarkiness.
mahalo, right back at ya, rox. and sincere aloha.
Are you kidding? I didn't take it snarky - I took it honest. I love your writing. The timing and the mood and the sentiment are all so "on point" in a ballet sort of way.
I *am* all positive'd up (how not to be, living in Hawaii!) and so I appreciate people who are real - not all snowed under, literally or figuratively.
I do hope I have the chance to meet you in person one day. Maybe even walking the beach together.
In any case, snark away. I can go there too.
lol...we got a reader! Best Comments in a while. Byrne you need a vacation...in Hawaii.
oh, i'm there. i'm there...
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