DANGER, Overload! Abort, Abort!

i've fried my circuits.
granted, the magnitude of brain power is a little suspect under this gorgeous head of flonde hair—but while i may lack in deep intellect, i try to make it up with an enterprising and optimistic attitude and willingness to learn.

right now, though, service engine soon lights are blinking crazily and smoke is pouring out of my ears.

curse you, ipod!

in the beginning of my ipod craze, my girl laughed at me as i dizzily described an incredibly satisfying cast i had listened to before our workout—stanford u's guest speaker discussing the history of the monterrey bay in CA. "don't you ever listen to music?" she asked. ha-HA foolish mortal girl! i now hold immortality in the palm of my hand! i shall broaden my intellect at a far more rapid pace than ever possible! itunes university shall reside in my head! rah-hah-hah-ha!

my voracious appetite for the casts was unlimited and i indiscriminately downloaded all manner of subjects: how to paint baseballs or lemons? YES! how did hannibal cross the alps with elephants and which pass did he most likely use? LETS FIND OUT! cooking shows, inc magazine podcasts, wine cast, wine cast, wine casts! a whole course in organizational behavior. literary critique of virgil's aeneid! flash game university, coffeebreak spanish, human-computer interaction seminar, dirty jobs casts, surfing casts, the writer's almanac, havard business review ideaCast, cool hunting videos, costa rica pod casts and gardening podcasts.....

then the consumption. every spare minute. folding laundry, the daily commute—what, the girl didnt make it to the workout? get the pod! my husband considered starting up his own podcast in hopes of communicating to me. it actually sounded like a good idea to me as well, but man, there is a ton of free content out there and i really don't have much time, so if i don't get to it right away, just keep on casting and i'll catch up. he shook his head in disgust.

then it started happening. slowly at first....in the middle of organizational management...i found myself drifting off. couldn't. keep. focused. drifting. drifting.....

whoa. i shook it off. downloaded divefilm hd video and national geographic for something pretty to look at and then went back to consuming. but it wasn't joyous like before. i edited my casts down, got rid of a few that were like: why am i listening to this? but it got worse.

i was coming home exhausted and filled with ennui. i would turn on bravotv and watch endless episodes of the housewives of orange county. even rewatched previous episodes of project runway. the creative process at work was moving at the speed of light, projects were being managed, but i didnt feel the spark. i started feeling just grey. shhhhk grey. like tv snow grey.

i think i have a problem, i told my husband.

you think? my husband retorted incredulously. then he put the buds back in my ears, took the pod and dialed up this episode of zefrank [explicit]: