Morgan: The Great Procrastinator

While Byrne draws inspiration from Gettysburg, I reflect on the great HBO mini-series Band of Brothers and think of how hard the Soldiers of the 101st Airborne fought against all odds. I recall one inspiring scene where Lt. Winters is leading his men across an open field in a bayonet fixed charge. He runs so fast he quickly out distances his men, climbing a steep dike he surprises a rather large contingent of German soldiers camped on the other side. He immediately opens fire and the sleepy Germans panic and try to flee, not realizing they have superior numbers. What results is described as a turkey shoot.

Another scene that is moving is during the Battle of the Bulge. Surrounded by a large counterattacking German Force, the 101st is tasked with holding the line. They dig into the frozen ground and with not enough ammunition or proper winter gear they do what they have to. Oh sure I'm sure there was a certain amount of bitching and griping, but that is every soldiers right. Facing bitter cold, fierce Germans, and a dismal Christmas, I can see them now hunkering down in their frozen foxholes peering through the dark trees...waiting. Persevering

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Shakespeare - King Henry V

Byrne was right when she described us as having our backs to the wall. Pressure mounting, we were faced with insurmountable odds...well at least I doubted my abilities to finish strong. Byrne is finishing up her masters degree and I was completing my last two classes. You see I have been pursuing my college degree for two-score years. While holding a full time job, working night shift at the Pentagon, fighting some of the worst traffic in America, and raising a young family may not be the same obstacles, they seemed daunting at times. I remember sitting in class pinching my hand, straining to stay awake when fatigue and sleep deprivation was sitting on my shoulders.

Entering this last class, Senior Seminar, I knew it would be my final challenge...it would take everything I had learned and the discipline of a Shaolin monk. It was to be an Online class. I prefer a normal face to face class, but this last class was to be fought in the virtual ethereal realm of the Internet. Upon reading the requirements I was stunned at the magnitude of what faced me. I felt like I was about ready to tackle Mt Everest with no equipment or Sherpas to help me. Damn! No wonder some people drop out of school with one class left...it was this class. For the first few weeks I treaded water, doing what was needed. I must have lost my focus or drive because by week four I felt myself drowning, and It paralyzed me with fear. I was going to fail. The paralysis only increased as the weeks went by. Why couldn't I just do what was needed. The time for withdrawing from the class was long gone and the Professor threw out another option of withdrawing with an incomplete. Was this how I wanted to go out? Finally in the last week something inside of me Clicked! I knew I had to complete this project for better or worse. It was OK to finish without complete mastery of the subject. I physically felt the need to finish what I had started 20 years ago. I sequestered myself in the basement surrounded by textbooks and shadows, and began the final push. Time was my enemy. The deadline loomed ahead of me getting closer and closer. I typed feverishly into the night, researching, rearranging, editing. I took off two days from work, unpaid. I could see the finish line right there on the horizon. I did finish. Printed my work and had it professionally bound, created a presentation and recorded audio defending my project and burned everything to a CD. Gathering up all the requirements I stuffed them into an envelope. I sat there stunned, my mind reeling thinking of what more I could have done. I hand delivered the package to the Professor that night. For a week I was petrified to look online for my grade. I felt my project was weak, could I expect a passing grade? What if I failed? Would I ever try again?

Tonight I logged on and went to the online grades...and there it was. A beautiful A.

I'm not sure whether to be ashamed it took so long or proud that I persevered and like a drop of water that never stops whittled away a mountain of courses to achieve my goal. I look back and with the gift of hindsight and think of everything I could have done differently, take more classes, study harder, try harder...and know that I did it my way.